So why this sinking feeling today? Why the feeling that I'm sliding down into that deep dark whole and I can't grip on to stop the fall?? Been racking my brain today trying to figure out what the trigger is....
And then I found it,
And how often is it not about him?
About my "Daddy Issues"?
So here it is. My Birthday was on the 1st of May (you may have read this post), after lunch some time (I'm guessing as an after-thought or a result of being reminded by one of my siblings) I get a text from my arsehole father...
"Happy Birthday Chick, we'll catch up soon xox"
Today is the 14th of May and I am going to my cousins engagement party. I have no doubt my spermdonor Father will be there and of course he will do his usual "World's Best Dad" gig. Will he realise that it has been 2 weeks since my Birthday, that he hasn't made contact with me? That the last time we were together or he contacted me was when he put on a lunch for my younger Brother back on the 4th of April and the time before that when I visited him for his own Birthday in the beginning of Feb?? Will it occur to him that "catching up soon" only happened a lot sooner than someone more important's Birthday because my cousin is having an Engagement Party??
My guess....
no,
No,
NO!
Am I feeling sorry for myself? Probably. Would it bother you?
I am on a downward spiral because I am seeing the one person who can make me feel completely and utterly worthless tonight and he will rub salt into my ever gaping wounds because as always the only effort he ever makes for or about me is in the eye of the public, making me feel like an even bigger joke.
Seriously the day I make any of my girls feel like this is the day I'll...............
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FYBF
The Rules
(As stolen from Lori, thus making Baby Jesus cry... sorry)
- Follow Where's My Glow?
- Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
- Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
- Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your blog URL)
- Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Be nice and spread the comment love)
- The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (and for the foreigners Friday as well)
- A new and fresh linky list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week
- Because I live in
DullsvillePerth the list will open around 7am AWST - I'm not getting up at 5am and the last time I scheduled a post it didn't work.
FlogYoBlog Friday 13/05
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